How-to
How-to guides
Most household arguments happen not because of the chore itself, but because nobody agreed on it in advance. One person assumed the trash goes out with whoever walks past it, the other that it had long been someone's job. Below are three situations broken down into steps: splitting household chores, combining belongings when moving in and choosing a wall color. The steps are general, so adapt them to your home and your rhythm of life.
An agreement written on paper argues for you more quietly than memory does.
How this section works: we describe the steps in general terms, without brands or prices. Work involving electrical wiring, gas or load-bearing structures is not covered here; it is done by professionals.
How to split household chores without arguments
Make a complete list
Write down every recurring chore, including the ones that are easy to overlook: shopping, booking a repair person, paying bills, changing the bed linens, caring for plants.
Mark skills and preferences
Let each of you honestly mark what you know how to do, what you do gladly and what you find hard. Chores are not "men's" or "women's"; they are divided by skill, preference and time.
Factor in schedules
Whoever is home more often during the day can meet couriers and repair people, and whoever has free weekends can take on the bigger jobs. What matters is that the result feels fair to both.
Decide what to do together or in turns
Chores nobody likes are easier done in turns or together. A big cleaning session done side by side ends faster and turns into blame less often.
Make the list visible
Put it on the fridge or start a shared note on your phones. Checking off what's done settles the question of who did it and when.
Schedule a review
Agree on when you will revisit the split: after a job change, an illness, a move, or whenever one of you feels it has become lopsided.
How to combine your belongings when moving in
Declutter before the move
Each of you sets aside in advance what won't go to the new home: old clothes, extra dishes, things kept "just in case." Only part with your own things, and save anything disputed for a joint conversation.
Find the duplicates
Two irons, two drying racks, two sets of pots: decide together what to keep based on the condition and usefulness of each item, not on whose it used to be.
Label the boxes
Mark each box with the room and the owner, or with "shared." Then nobody has to hunt for their things in someone else's boxes while unpacking.
Start with the essentials
Unpack the bed, bedding, toiletries, first-aid kit, chargers and basic dishes first. Everything else can wait.
Agree on personal space
Let each of you have a shelf, a drawer or a corner of your own where the other doesn't put things without asking. This prevents plenty of small grievances.
Don't rush to buy
Live in the new place for a few weeks before buying more furniture: it will become clear what you both are actually missing.
How to choose a wall color together from samples
Discuss the mood of the room
First agree not on a color but on what the room should feel like: calm, bright, warm or work-focused. That makes it easier to narrow down the options.
Pick a few shades
Let each of you suggest a couple of shades you like. Set aside right away anything one of you really dislikes.
Test on the wall
Paint small patches on different walls, or large sheets of cardboard you can move from place to place. Paint looks different on a wall than on a tiny swatch.
Look in different light
Check the samples in the morning, at midday and in the evening, in daylight and with the lamps on. A shade you liked during the day can turn gloomy by evening.
Decide together and write it down
Choose the option that works for both of you, not the one someone insisted on. Write the shade name on the can lid or in a shared folder so you can touch up the wall in the same color later.
Read next
- Tools
A shared to-do list, a calendar for two, a basic toolbox, labeled boxes and a folder for manuals and warranties.
- Planning
Renovating together: a wish list, the order of work, one point of contact with contractors, stages and sign-off, a buffer in the budget.
- Care
Seasonal care of the home and belongings: switching wardrobes, textiles, wallpaper, floors and shoes, and who is responsible for what.
What we rely on
- Instructions and care labels from makers of clothing, furniture and appliances
- Editorial materials of the Femina Maskulina guide
Femina Maskulina's advice is written in general terms and relies on the care labels and instructions from makers of clothing, furniture and appliances, as well as on widely accepted home safety rules. Check how to wash an item or clean a surface on its care label or marking, ask your building management about remodeling, leave electrical work to an electrician and anything involving gas to the gas service.